Sailing Saving Veteran’s Pt. 2

Cultivating Community Through Sailing

By Rick Meldrum

Growing up, I didn’t know what it felt like to have brothers, as I had two sisters. It was only once I got into the Army that I learned the true meaning of brotherhood and what it felt like to look around and think, “I’d give my life for these people.” Through our arduous training and the shared suffering we experienced in combat in the Middle East, we formed indelible bonds that could never be broken. 

The challenge for me came when I ended my military service and those tight ties were stretched. I was used to being in close proximity with my brothers every day for months at a time, and suddenly, I was alone. Even though I was lucky enough to be part of a couple of great civilian teams initially, this sense of isolation was compounded when I had to leave an unsustainable job and my wife divorced me. 

I didn’t feel the same sense of camaraderie again until I found a new brotherhood through sailing. When I was in Ireland recently for the Beaufort Cup, spending time with this new chosen family took me back to the best times with my Army brothers. I was comfortable with these people and knew I could rely on them. This is what so many veterans are desperately seeking: to find a new tribe so they finally feel part of something meaningful again. 

Cultivating Community

To get back to the beginning of this chapter in my life, we need to rewind a couple of years. As I shared in a previous post, I moved to Seattle after my divorce to be near my son. After I realized that sailing gave me the kind of challenge, freedom, and empowerment that I’d been missing for so long, I bought a boat. Captain Ron, the previous owner of the 29-foot Igniter, is a true character and has a certain air about him that immediately reminded me of my grandfather. 

It was Ron who introduced me to the Duck Dodge, a weekly event on Lake Union where sailors from all over the city and beyond come together to compete. Technically it’s not a race, but the goal is to go as fast as you can and the competitor in me immediately relished that. What I didn’t expect was the sense of community I’d find among this ragtag bunch. Sure, there is the rich yacht club crowd, but there are also folks from all walks of life who come together around their love of being out on the water. 

Lake Union is great for beginners (other than the paddleboarders, motorboats, and even commercial craft you might have to weave around) because it’s more sheltered than being out on open water. So if you accidentally bump into another boat, as I’ll admit I did a couple of times initially, it’s not a big deal. This made it a perfect place to learn basic seamanship (aka the rules of the road) and, more importantly, to have an entry point into the local sailing community. 

After each Duck Dodge, there’s a raft up. This is where everyone brings their boat back in, cracks open a few drinks, gets some food going, and hangs out. I loved talking to Ron’s friends initially and then getting into conversations with other boat owners. The Duck Dodge is Seattle sailing’s equivalent of the Hash House Harriers – who describe themselves as “the drinking club with a running problem.” Just a couple of minutes into talking with somebody, they’d say something like, “Why don’t you come out with me on my boat on Wednesday?” It was an easy way to make new friends. 

When Ron took me out for a full regatta on Puget Sound, he had me go over to the committee boat and thank the organizers, who he already knew well from all his years sailing in Seattle. One of them looked familiar and it soon dawned on me that I’d met him a couple of weeks ago. I’d been sitting at a bar with my dog having a beer. We got talking and I found out he was Mike “Danger” Adams, commodore of the Sloop Tavern Yacht Club. We got along well, and he invited me to meet with some of his friends at another bar. Now here we were chatting with his old buddy Captain Ron.

Changing and Saving Lives 

It was making these kinds of connections that made the Duck Dodge, Sloop Tavern Yacht Club events, and regattas such a blast. Sure, the sailing was a lot of fun, but it was the friendships, the sense of community, and the ability for people from all different backgrounds to connect that really made all the difference. 

When I came across U.S. Patriot Sailing, started the Seattle chapter, and began taking veterans out on the water, I also saw the power of putting together a crew. Like a small unit in the military, there was tangible power in coming together for a common goal. And as much as I enjoy leading or participating in this, there’s also a lot of satisfaction in assembling a team, sending them out, and seeing them succeed. 

In my first conversation with Peter Quinn, the founder of U.S. Patriot Sailing, I expressed the joy I’d found out on my boat, how it was helping me deal with some of the ways I’d been struggling since leaving the military, and why I wanted to share this with other veterans. He told me the story of the moment he knew that the organization’s mission was succeeding. A guy on his crew told him that he wasn’t going to show up for the race because he was planning to kill himself. It was the first time Peter realized he had saved a life. And that’s why he wanted me on board – because that was my goal too. 

He was also brutally honest in telling me that I couldn’t do it alone. I’d need a quartermaster and people to oversee operations and maintenance. I found my friend Emma through Duck Dodge. She’d grown up sailing near Chicago and, like me, had been through a difficult divorce. And as she was a physical therapist for the VA, she’d seen veterans’ struggles up close. 

After having her and Caroline – who I met through the Sloop Tavern Yacht Club – crew for me, I realized how important it is to get the right people on your boat. You’re going to be spending hours with these people and have to not only rely on their skills, but also get along with them on a personal level. When you assemble the right crewmates, you have something special. 

Coming to a Calling

When I was a college strength and conditioning coach, it made me feel like I was working hard for something bigger than myself, which was one of the things I liked most about serving in the Army. I find a similar sense of satisfaction in coaching clients now, and even more so from getting my fellow veterans involved in U.S. Patriot Sailing. If I can raise enough money to reach more vets, I can bring similar meaning to their lives and maybe even save a few. Personally, that will enable me to live out a sense of calling. 

When we were on the boat in Ireland for the Beaufort Cup, one of the biggest wins of being with these veterans and active-duty servicemen was the team dynamic. With U.S. Patriot Sailing and through my coaching, I’m used to being the leader, so it was refreshing to just be a teammate again, like when I was in the military. I’d never met most of these people, but we came together and sailed a boat on another continent like we’d known each other for years. 

This shows the power of sailing to unite disparate groups. When you retire from active duty, it’s all too easy to break off from your old community and become isolated. It’s when you’re alone that anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts can kick in. Sailing gives you back the kind of tight-knit group you’ve been missing. It also helps that you’re coming together for a common purpose and have a renewed sense of mission. Everyone has to do their job, or the boat won’t operate well and can’t go faster. 

Having a meaningful role and recognizing the important part that others are playing is another vital aspect of this teamwork. Even though I usually like to steer the boat, it was a welcome change in Ireland to be given other duties and watch a real pro at work doing what I usually do. And by putting in full effort, I earned the respect of my crewmates. 

The goal of U.S. Patriot Sailing is to reintegrate veterans into a tribe and here I was, a few thousand miles from home, seeing it in action. Our aim is to get a significant enough endowment that we can start up regional groups like I have in Seattle all over the country. Then with the right people in place who share our passion, we can reach as many veterans as possible, give them back the sense of purpose and belonging they’ve so sorely missed, and even break the cycle of mental illness and suicide.